BLINDS CALGARY

“And I will never see the sky the same way and I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and I will never cease to fly if held down and I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen, twilight…”
Twilight: Vanessa Carlton, Be Not Nobody

I have to admit that I am a Vanessa Carlton fan. It’s not just because she’s quirky and beautiful, but she’s got amazing talent and she has a way of tapping into deep pockets of emotionally hidden feelings. This song in particular.

When I was going through a huge project many years back- I found out that I had been basically cut at the expense of my partner’s ego. I wrote all the music and lyrics, but I apparently was not good enough to be in the project. I was livid and hurt. I spent almost 2 weeks secluded at my parents house while they were gone, practicing my guitar and getting “good enough” (I could smoke his ass any day of the week and twice on Sunday and he knew it). I was ready to go back into the studio, lay down some lightning fast chops and then tell him “No… I don’t need YOU”.

This song was in my CD player over and over. I woke up at 4:00 in the morning and played all day- until around midnight… literally. The only time I stopped was to smoke, and that cigarette was often attached to my head stock. I felt a bit of haunting and healing each and every time that I heard it. There is just so much to it. It’s very deep. At the end of the two weeks, I had managed to REALLY step up my game. I was playing scales at almost 550 BPM up and down the neck… but I didn’t tell him off. I didn’t have the need to- because this song healed me in some way!

*** Artist Notes ***
Staring up at the moon under twilight hours…

Lyrics:
I was stained, with a role in a day, not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right I just didn't know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight

And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen, twilight

Never cared never wanted
Never sought to see what flaunted
So on purpose so in my face Couldn't see beyond my own place
And it was so easy not to behold what I could hold
But you taught me I could change Whatever came within these shallow days

And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen

As the sun shines through it pushes away and pushes ahead
It fills the warmth of blue and leaves a chill instead and
I didn't know that I could be so blind to all that is so real
But as illusion dies I see there is so much to be revealed

And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen, twilight

I was stained, with a role, in a day not my own
But as you walked into my life you showed what needed to be shown
And I always knew, what was right
I just didn't know that I might
Peel away and choose to see with such a different sight

And I will never see the sky the same way and
I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday and
I will never cease to fly if held down and
I will always reach too high cause I've seen, cause I've seen, twilight...

September 18th, 2008
So pretty much, I'm a freak.
I only have one pair of clean pants left (the black skinnies I'm wearing.) which is VERY rare for me, considering I prolly have more than 12 pairs of jeans. So, I was pulling on my black skinny jeans today, and I suddenly had a "great" idea! My picture is going to be making fun of skater kids!!!!
So pretty much, I have had a bad experience with skater kids.
Cody (a skater kid I dated) dumped me because he wasn't sure if our relationship was "lust" or "love". That ticks me off.
Gabe (another skater kid I dated) snuck over to my house with his friends and basically cost me my head. I never saw him BEFORE that, never saw him after. He kissed me that night, and held me really tight. I thought it was SO cute that he would do that in front of his friends. Turns out, he only did it because his friends were there. We dated for about two days, and he told me he wanted to wait 'till we were in school to date. I took that as "I wanna bang other girls, and then when we see each other more, i'll try to get into your pants too."
Jordan (another skater kid that I kinda dated) played me. We liked each other for a LONG LONG time. We flirted at school, over IM, and talked all hours into the night. Too bad he "didn't want things to hurt any worse when he left the school for Summer" Another "I wanna wait till we're in school-er". bleh.
Austin (a wanna be skater) was a freak. He was immature, and gave me a ROCK for my birthday. What the crap?!?! I dumped HIM.
Alec (wanna-be skater #2) I had some problems with him. He has A LOT of plaque in his teeth, and was about half my height. Why I kissed him, I don't even know. (I dumped him to date Cody, a skater mentioned above)
Cody Young (a skater my friend Abby dated) played her. Kept telling her over and over and over that he loved her, and he kept coming back for her. She actually cared about him, and loved him. But NOOOO, he had to keep breaking her heart, and playing her like a dang fool. I wanted to give him a PIECE OF MY MIND.
some people, I just wish I could punch, ya know?
You'da thought I woulda learned my lesson with the first skater kid I dated. heh. I feel like an idiot sometimes. So, I think I will never EVER date a skater kid again, no matter how hot they are. Maybe that's part of the reason I wanna marry Andrew. hmm. But yeah. Be careful with those skater kids.
I feel they're bad news.

Listening To-
"Atrophy"
*Red Jumpsuit Apparatus*